• Lincoln Counselling

Updated: Apr 4

What Is Relationship Counselling?

Some of the issues causing a rift in the relationship may be minor, and other may be of a chronic nature. The problems may range from financial matters and constant disagreements (fighting) to differences in sexual desire and infidelity. However, some couples may consider counselling to help them understand each other better so as to make better decisions that foster a long-term commitment.

















More often than not, conflicts and misunderstandings in a relationship often occur during the development phase when their relationship is experiencing contraction and expansion. It is during this phase that they try to understand and relate to each other while trying to conform to the shifts and changes.


To understand relationship counselling benefits, all parties in the relationship should first understand what counselling is and why each person should attend. The counselling is done in the presence of and under the guidance of a professional counsellor, therapist, or psychologist. The primary focus is to help each person under the issues they face and how to find suitable solutions thus eliminating the distress in the relationship and promoting a fulfilling future.


Relationship counselling is often the best option for couples, families, colleagues, or friends who are facing difficulties. If your partner is not willing to attend it can still be worthwhile that one person attend individually to try and move things in a better direction.  The counsellor is trained to offer professional help and advice to people seeking to save their relationship.


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Top Relationship Counselling Benefits


1.    Improve Communication:

While relationships are often formed and solidified by trust and openness, these two can be challenged as couples or involved parties in the relationship gradually understand each other better. This can create a disconnect and therein distance between the couples paving the way for bigger issues. The counselling sessions will help restore the communication and improve intimacy again. All parties are allowed to speak their mind, express thoughts and feelings whilst the counsellor facilities the process of effective communication.


The setting advocates for open and honest communication and this helps each person to understand better their role in the issues pegging the relationship. It helps to break the ice by fostering communication to enable all involved persons to understand each other and have a positive approach when resolving conflicts.


2.    Enhance Relations And Strengthen Bonds:

Conflict is inevitable in relationships and is often anxiety provoking. In a family setting, the relationship can be soured by jealousy and different personal interests. The same traits may be evident in a romantic relationship. These issues tend to culminate with ugly feuds and fights. It may be easy for misunderstanding to take centre stage invalidating the significance of each individual in the relationship. As such, much is left unsaid and this births unresolved feelings that soil relations.


Seeing a counsellor helps all parties to have a better understanding of self and the others in the relationship. Through the aid of the counsellor, they learn how to express their feelings while bringing everyone together thus strengthening their bonds.


3.    Build Self-Esteem:

On the major relationship, counselling benefits are building self-esteem. If a person does not have a better understanding and appreciation of self, they are less likely to understand and appreciate others. They also will not know how to cope with major challenges in life thus having a poor footing in their relationships. Often, they are vulnerable to peer pressure and have interpersonal issues. The counsellor will often start with promoting self-understanding and understanding of the relationship problems. The counselling will help all in the troubled relationship by better understand their role and value in the relationship and thus will also value other and the relationship. As the relationship improves so does the self-esteem of individuals involved. Good self-esteem will make couples have a more positive outlook towards life, and this increases the chances of the relationship lasting and succeeding.


4.    Make You Happier:

In this age of technology, it is easy to find acceptance and happiness in other places. More and more people are being drowned in the digital ocean of smartphones, TV, and other gadgets. The devices are where they turn to when stressed or facing problems. They just opt to run away from their troubles are opposed to facing them head-on all in a bid to find or remain happy.


The happiness can be just a façade that masks the truth that the relationship is facing some kind of trouble. Counselling will help all involved persons to cope with their problems better while also finding it okay to consider seeking help from their spouses, colleagues, or friends. In short, a chronically unhappy individual will most likely have unhappy relations, and a difficulty in confronting the issues which leads to an accumulation of distress and unresolved relationship issues.


5.    When Dealing With A Divorce:

In family relationships as well as romantic relationships, a disconnect and discord will often be what tears them apart. Divorce is a sad outcome that most counsellors do their best to help couples and families to avoid. However, some couples are often too quick to go the divorce route seeing it as a faster and simpler solution to avoid the problems they face in their relationship. What they often fail to understand is that their actions that are fuelling the disconnect led to the divorce. The relationship counselling benefits include trying to prevent families and couples from such heartbreaking outcomes. The counsellor helps them to resolve their issues and promote healing thus strengthening the relations between the couples and the family unit.


Sometimes, divorce may also be a suitable solution to the issues at hand, but only if the counsellor deems this a safe route for the couples and usually will be when partners are not wanting to address the issues anymore. In this instance, the counsellor will help there be mutual understanding between the two even as they part way to ensure there is peace and harmony especially if there are children involved.


6.    Negotiate And Reestablish Commitments:

Commitment can be one of the most problematic aspects of having a strong relationship. Commitments can be in different forms that include that of having kids, financial support, emotional support, and a general commitment to the relationship. Personal interests, concerns, and fears tend to influence an individual’s commitment to the relationship. Attending the counselling sessions can help both members to have a voice for their concerns and to express their caution or disagreement in some areas.


The counsellor helps each understand what being committed actually means to them and their spouse and how vague commitment affects their relationship. During the session, each person is allowed to air their fears and concerns as well as wishes. They are helping to negotiate responsibilities that arise due to making commitments for the good of the relationship. Doing this helps couples to have a better approach to reaching clear and workable agreements on all issues they face, together.


7.    Mental And Physical Health:

A happy person is often of good health, physically and mentally. That is one of the issues that the relationship therapist and counsellor strives to achieve in each individual; to have a person of good mental and physical health through addressing the relationship issues. Such an individual will often be at peace, and this stems from having a good understanding of the other person in the relationship and through addressing issues as they arise. It starts there, at a personal level and then transcends to others around you. The counsellor will offer professional facilitations that help both members in the relationship to understand each other thus being in a better position to identify particular problems, personal and in the other, and how to practically handle them.


8.    Build A Successful Family And Marriage:

In the family setting, children pick up the traits of who they become later in life from what they see and hear around them. How their parents and siblings behave, sometimes even how their friends behave, will influence who they may become. A family setting where the parents are always at conflict is never the ideal place for children to grow up in, and the curtains close on such a setting with a divorce. However, the relationship counselling benefits also extend to a family setting. The counselling sessions can help every family member to improve at a personal level and to reconnect together as a family unity ultimately helping children feel more safe and secure.


Families are different thus deal with varied problems differently. Some can turn out messy if not addressed early and adequately. Relationship counselling is the most professional help that a family and marriage in turmoil should get. The counsellor will help the parents to identify the root of the problems the face and how to solve them without causing any distress to the small children.